I don’t think loneliness is, of course, just not being around people, even people you know, it’s more complicated than that. My linguistics professor was once talking about the concept of discourse and was saying how we are still in discourse with people who are far away, people we seemed to have left behind. They are still part of our lives, our ways of thinking, and we a part of theirs. Our experiences are not occurring to avoid. And in the same way, I think this is why you can still be lonely in a room full of people, as they say, or even with people you call acquaintances or friends. Being surrounded by people you’re not in real discourse with, maybe that’s loneliness. But it’s only this mingled with hope that you’ll find a return to people within; the conversation can continue. I guess true, true loneliness, is having no-one to miss.
http://vimeo.com/1071996
1 week anniversary :P …well, more like 3 but 1 officially. No other relationship I’ve been in has been this good. Tonight it was my sister’s 21st birthday and the parents asked if I’d like to bring my girlfriend along… of course she instantly agreed… we went to an Italian restaurant with my mother and father, sister, a couple of my sister’s friends.. the food was amazing, my gorgeous girl looked and smelt absolutely incredible, and the family really enjoyed having her there. After the meal I took her to her favourite spot for a while then headed home. Tonight went really really well! Nobody’s perfect, but she is imperfectly perfect for me… there’s so much I like about her… and I love it that I still make her nervous :P (secretly, she makes me nervous too)..
I could spend every moment of every day with her and never get bored :)
I think of the beauty in the obvious, the way it forces us to admit how it exists, the way it insists on being pointed out like a bloody nose, or how every time it rains there is always someone around to say, “It’s raining.” But the obvious isn’t showing off, it’s only reminding us that time passes, and that somewhere along the way we grow up. Not perfect, but up and out. It teaches us something about time, that we are all ticking and tocking, walking the fine line between days and weeks as if each second speaks of years and each month has years listening to forever but never hearing anything beyond centuries swallowed up by millenniums, as if time was calculating the sums needed to fill the empty belly of eternity. We so seldom understand each other. But if understanding is neither here nor there, and the universe is infinite, then understand that no matter where we go we will always be smack dab in the middle of nowhere. All we can do is share some piece of ourselves, and hope that it’s remembered. Hope that we meant something to someone.
PS. My girl is an absolute angel… imperfectly perfect !! :]
I know we’re mates and all but I don’t care how close you WERE to her, you had your chance, you fucked up & there’s no fucking way I’m going to let you mess with our relationship. Get over it, it’s time for you to start minding your own business and move on…
It sounds crazy I know, but they say you’ll know when you meet the right person.. I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone more amazing than my girl right now.
Oh, we came up with a name for our bear too.. we named it after her pop :)
I love every little thing about her, I trust her like I’ve known her for years & I would even rather spend the day with her than with my best friend, she’s so special to me!
Some people wait a lifetime and never get the chance to experience what I’m experiencing with her, I consider myself very lucky to have met her, and I’m not going anywhere!
To most people it would seem like we’re crazy, but that’s probably just because they’ve never experienced a relationship like ours :)
Goodnight world, hello dreams of you…
My girl is so perfect.. & yes, I can finally say ‘my girl’ as we are unofficially official! :P
Because she misses my cuddles I bought her a ‘Russ’ teddy and gave it a couple of squirts of the cologne I wear just so she can cuddle it when she’s sleeping… she loved it!
She’s so incredible! I’ll continue to treat her like the princess she is!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
